Hello friends!
As I was learning about Feminine energy, I delved into a lot of content online from blogs to videos. Somehow, I find none that could actually give me the “straight answer” that I was looking for on what Feminine energy actually is. Worse, much of them are like regurgitations of each other, all lofty and vague. After a while, I finally am able to grasp what it is through my own experience as well as observations of it and this is what I would like to share in this post.
If we are to summarize Masculine Energy in one word, it would be “action”. Whereas if we are to do the same for Feminine Energy, the singular word would be “being”. What does “being” mean? Being means “feeling” whereby you use your feeling to guide you in what you do/don’t do and the people, places & things you engage or don’t engage in.
Photo by Samanta Sokolova on Unsplash
Let me give you an example. If a friend you have only comes around when she has a problem but never makes time for you, it makes you feel drained and used. As a woman in your Feminine Energy, you will take that as your guide to distance yourself from this so-called friend as it doesn’t feel good to engage with them in your “one-sided friendship”.
On the other hand if your friend is like your sister from another womb where you are always there for each other (at least, where it counts because we all have our own lives) and are genuinely supportive and caring towards one another, it feels good to you and hence you would engage with them often as well as allow them to have more space in your life.
By this concept, I personally feel that a lot of the questions women have about Feminine Energy gets answered. Things like:
“I want to have more defined arms but wouldn’t lifting weights to achieve that make me masculine or be in my Masculine Energy?”
“I have a crush on a friend of mine. If I were to be more in my Feminine Energy, does that mean I can’t ask him out? How do I balance?”
To answer the first question, it depends on how you feel when weigh-lifting. Does it make you feel beautiful and strong? Do you enjoy it and makes you feel happy? If the answer is yes, lifting weights is definitely something you can pursue as a form of exercise because that enjoyment will make you bloom.
For the second question, it depends on how you feel about doing the asking. Which one would feel good to you; you asking him out or him asking you out? If it’s the former, do it. If it’s the latter, then don’t do it. Create an inviting environment for him to ask you out instead. Like I said, it all depends on how you feel.
Photo by Angelina Litvin on Unsplash
Even with places (shopping malls, spa, etc.), colors (pinks, purples and pastels), activities (painting, dancing, cooking), etc, that are considered "feminine". Don't include them in your life if you are genuinely not into them. Go to places you love, wear colors you adore and do activities that makes your heart sing.
Now before I end, I want you to know that the feelings that we are referring to here needs to come from a healthy, genuine place that is in alignment with your wellbeing on both the short-term and long-term. It does not include feelings that arise from fear (wounded Feminine Energy) nor from trying to manage and control (Masculine Energy). Neither does it come from a place of traumatic responses (e.g. not liking to cook because you were told that you're "hopeless" at it from that ONE time you burnt a dish).
If for example, your motivation to go to the gym to lift weights is because your partner is a “gym rat” then the motivation is your partner, not yourself. Do it if it makes YOU genuinely happy. Not because your partner wants you to go/you want to impress him (people pleasing) or because you don’t want him to be attracted to other women at the gym (fear and controlling).
Photo by Jason Briscoe on Unsplash
As my final thoughts, I fully acknowledge that we can’t only operate from our Feminine Energy of “being” all the time. It’s not realistic. There will be times when we may need to interact with people we don’t want to (like your neurotic boss or colleague), do things we don’t want to but are essential (taking out the trash), etc. The idea here is to engage with how you truly feel within and honoring that, while also having the capacity to adjust as well as adapt to the situation where required.
I hope that this has given you a better understanding of what Feminine Energy is at it’s core and how you can practice being in this state. Ask yourself “Does this feel good to me? Am I enjoying it?” and let that be your guide.
Much love,
Anette